


The world will not treat you better just because you are a good person

by withowlmyheart



Series: Bokuaka Oneshots [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crimes & Criminals, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Financial Issues, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Organized Crime, Pain, Physical Abuse, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Esteem Issues, mafia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-12 15:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20566328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withowlmyheart/pseuds/withowlmyheart
Summary: Bokuto lost everything he loved: his friends, his family, his volleyball career... and Akaashi.Eight years after, he works for a mafia to pay his debt. But, what will he do when he has to choose between Akaashi and his freedom?





	The world will not treat you better just because you are a good person

_Sometimes your world falls apart. It breaks right in front of you, but there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You watch it, like it has nothing to do with you. But when you don’t expect it, the weight of your world falls over your shoulders. And it’s heavy. It’s too heavy. And you can’t carry so much pain. So you start looking for an escape. Until you realize it’s too late. There’s nothing you can do except breaking till everything comes to its end. And, yeah… Maybe someone will reach you out. But sometimes you’re too tired to fight. And you let the burden bury you. But, if you’re lucky enough, you’ll have the opportunity to decide where you’ll die. That’s all I want. I want a warm place to die. A warm place like his arms. Thus, no matter how much time passed, I could never forget. Because were Akaashi’s arms._  
_— Bokuto Koutarou._

Autumn arrived sooner than anyone had expected. The warmth left. A lot of people rejoiced, but not Koutarou. For him summer meant free heat, people always walking on the streets, no matter what time was. A safe place. He did not need blankets to cover his pale and thin body, or to sleep with one eye open because of the hazards the night streets kept. Koutaro liked summer. But now it was gone and autumn received him with a wave of cold temperature. He let his breath out and it became a steam cloud. Bokuto saw it disappear through the night sky. It could be beautiful if his body was just a little warmer. But he was shaking and his only concern was to find somewhere where he could spend the night. However, life was not so easy to him. His mobile phone, a relic nobody used but him, rang and he identified his boss name in the screen. For just one moment he was tempted to ignore the call, but it would mean a lot of pain for him. More than he could carry on that moment. So he pressed the green button, to his regret, and listened to the stentorian voice of the man who caused most of his habitual nightmares.

"Bokuto," the aforementioned swallowed a ball of saliva formed in the back of his mouth. "I’ve got a job for you. It has to be done this night, without delay."

Bokuto asked himself what was going to be this time. He was afraid because of the answer. Since he become that… human shit. He could only describe himself with that word. So, since he has become that human shit, his life was a complete mess which he could not scape. No matter how hard he tried to avoid it or fight against it. The boss of the mafia which he was sold eight years ago was always there to drown him a little more. How long will I survive? How far is my limit? When will I reach it?

"Ok," Bokuto murmured with wobbly voice. "I’ll find something to eat and then..."

"I don’t care if you don’t eat," his boss shouted and Bokuto took a step back, although the man could not see it. "You’re our property, never forget it. First of all goes what I order you, and then everything else. Or don’t you remember what happened the last time you decided to put yourself before your commandment?"

Of course that Bokuto could remember it. It was impossible to forget. His eyes travelled to his right arm, where a big scar rested. It was more than an accidental scar. A white mark started in his wrist and extended through his arm until his elbow. His fingers stroked the cracked skin and a couple of tears ran over his cheeks. He could remember how five men immobilized him over a metallic table. Five years ago and he could still hear his voices, how they laughed at him while the razor broke his skin. And he screamed. He shouted until his voice disappeared. Nobody cared about him, because there was nobody to care about Bokuto. He lost everyone, including his humanity.

"You know the mafia is being judged right now. Someone told me a young lawyer is who’s taking the case," continued the man. "I want you to enter in his apartment and stole him the pen drive where he has every proof against us. You’ve got the direction in your messages. Once you’ve done the work done notice me and get rid of the telephone."

The boss hung up. However the anguish did not leave Bokuto’s body. He rested his back against the wall of a dark alley and let it slip away. The man hid his face between his legs and started to cry like there was no tomorrow. But… for him it could be true. Because Bokuto never knew when his life was going to end. And, somehow, it did not afraid him. Sometimes living was scarier than dying. If he had to be honest, right now he did not know why was still living. He lay there for a couple of minutes, his stomach shouting him to get up and had something to eat. However, he did not. He got up, but he ignored his body necessities. No matter that he did not eat for two days, or that his last lunch was a Donut box some kids throw because the expiry date.

✦─────────── • ✧

The direction the message sent him was a fancy but homelike apartment at Tokyo’s rich neighbourhood. The type of building where only the most successful people could live in. _A long time ago I dreamed of living in a place like this… It’s scary how life can change so easily…_

He slipped effortlessly through the security system. There was only one guard and two cameras escorting the entrance. For someone who has been stealing since his seventeen, it was a doddle. He sneaked into the elevator and pushed the button of the last floor. Bokuto needed just four minutes to force the lock and push the door.

On the other side, he found what Bokuto had wished for years. It was not a common apartment. It was heaven in Earth. Bokuto was received by a colossal living room, perfectly tidy. The first Bokuto noticed when he entered the apartment was a familiar vanilla fragrance. He closed his eyes and smiled unconsciously. The ex wing spiker had smelt it before, but he could not remember where. That sweet aroma… It was like being in a safe place for once in a long time. He was guided by the perfume through the living room and a long corridor until a closed door. Bokuto stuck his ear to the door and heard the lightweight sound of someone’s breathing. _Good, the apartment’s owner should be sleeping. Lucky me!_, thought the man and breathed relieved. If he was careful enough this time he would not need to hurt anybody.

There was no light to steer his steps, but Bokuto had enough experience to see in the dark. He avoided a pair of boots and a chair. He distinguished the silhouette of a desk at the end of the bedroom and went to it. For his luck, the room had a huge window through which the lunar rays filtered and Bokuto could perfectly see the escritoire. His hand was opening the first drawer when his eyes noticed something. Next to the personal computer there was a photo frame. But it was not what caught Bokuto’s attention. It was the photography on it. He recognized it. Because once he had it too. Before his dreams, and himself, were shattered. The photography was showing a group of young teenagers posing in a volleyball court, everyone smiling. Including himself, in the middle of the Fukurodani’s volleyball team, with Akaashi hugging him while the setter was holding the trophy they obtained when the team won the nationals. Bokuto’s vision blur and suddenly his face was a river of tears he could not stop. Memories of a past life, where everything was fine. When he deserved to live. When he dreamed to confess his teen love, Akaashi. Ironically the happiest day of his life was the same everything started to fall apart. The pain in his chest become stronger and a sob escaped from his mouth. He covered it with his left hand when he heard the man in the bed moving. Fortunately, he did not wake up. Bokuto cleaned every tear with his shirt and, silently, he approached the sleepy man. He needed to see who was.

But he wished he have never done it.

The man was someone he loved too much. Someone he still loved.

Was Akaashi.

After eight years the love of his life was right in front of him, sleeping so peacefully. Bokuto grinned. It was a joy to see that, no matter how much time have passed, Akaashi was still the most beautiful person Bokuto had ever met. His hair was longer and framed his shaped cheekbones like the masterpiece he was. Akaashi’s skin was more brunette and he could not resist the temptation to touch it. _Just one second. I need it. I need to remember how it’s to touch his skin. Just one more time. I need it before I die…_ And it was exactly like in his dreams. A piece of heaven; that was Akaashi. He cried again, this time because of happiness. Now he could whiff the vanilla aroma and recognize it. Akaashi’s bedroom always smelled like that. The setter told Bokuto that the vanilla helped him to focus. Bokuto used to laugh, but hug the dark-haired. Bokuto thought he was never able to see Akaashi again, and life gave him the best present._ Just one more time._

However, life was a bastard to Bokuto. Minutes passed and the position of the moon warned Bokuto he had just a couple of hours to get the pen drive and return to the mafia. Despite his desire to wake up Akaashi and hug him again, he conformed with kissing the setter’s cheek. Bokuto took the pen drive from the desk and ran away like the human waste he was.

✦─────────── • ✧

He coughed blood. Winter was a bastard with Bokuto. He did not have a place to sleep and every year he caught a cold, everytime worst than the last. The ex wing spiker was aware that he would not last for a long time. Maybe it was going to be his last winter. On the other hand, the mafia was worse with him. The beatings were more cruel and his injuries could not heal before a new bashing hit him. Bokuto should be devastated, but he was not. He found a reason to live. That was why he was standing in front of a smooth coffee shop dressed with only a thin shirt. But it was worth it. Because he could see the smile of Akaashi, seated next to the window with his personal computer and a cup of black coffee. _He still likes it. I guess some things never change,_ thought with a tiny smile on his face.

Since Bokuto discovered where Akaashi was leaving, he started to spy him. He knew it was not good, that maybe the best was to knock on his door and, who knows, maybe even he could kiss him. But no. It was just a fantasy. Bokuto did not deserve anyone so perfect like Akaashi was. The setter was in another league. Bokuto was too dirty, too corrupted. None like him must touch a masterpiece like Keiji. The ex wing spiker had robbed, denigrate himself, and was abused in so many ways that the simply thought of touching anyone caused him a terrible shame.

But he could see Akaashi. And it made him so happy. He discovered that Akaashi graduated in law, studied in England for a couple of years and then he returned to Japan when an important organization against the crime offered him a well-paid job as one of its lawyers. Akaashi smiled less, and now he wore glasses, but he was still perfect. The only thing Bokuto hated was the person who met him everyday at the coffee shop. A handsome and brought man, with blonde hair and perfect smile. They were very close and Bokuto felt a stab of pain every time the man touched Akaashi’s hand. He could imagine he lost Akaashi the day he disappeared, but imagining it was completely different than realizing it. And it hurt like hell.

Days passed, and Bokuto started to follow Akaashi to almost every place the dark-haired man went. Except when the mafia to which Bokuto worked needed him to work. The ex wing spiker identified some habits Akaashi had developed with the past of time. For example, every morning he was in the coffee shop with that blonde man. They met for at least twenty minutes and then everyone followed his way. Or, the setter was still into volleyball because every Sunday he contacted with the ex third years of Fukurodani and Onaga and spent the day playing volleyball. It turned out to be tremendously painful for him. Bokuto wanted to join them, but he was too corrupted to speak again with his friends. And he could not move properly without a stab of pain in his body. His arms, his hips, his face… everything hurt. If he would play, probably he could not even spiked the ball. The strongest ace. One of the top three. Fukurodani volleyball team captain. Bokuto would never hear that title to him. He did not deserve it.

Despite it, autumn was not that bad for the ex captain. Just because Akaashi was there, even if it was just to be contemplated by Bokuto.

✦─────────── • ✧

Winter was hell.

It was the coldest winter in Japan for years. The city was always covered in snow, no place where Bokuto could lay and rest a moment. His entire body was hurting, but he continued walking until he found somewhere dry enough to drop down. It turned to be an empty outdoor garbage bin property of a dismal bar. The garbage bin was placed at the end of a narrow alley. Perfect to someone like me, thought Bokuto when he threw himself into it.

One day, when he was sleeping (or at least trying to rest, because he could never fall asleep if he wanted to live), he heard some noises coming from the back of the bar. Automatically he curled up and closed his eyes, acting like he was dead. He learnt by the worst way that sometimes if someone thought you were dead things were easier.

"... God, I don’t care," Bokuto recognized the voice of the bar owner. It was raucous and the ex captain never liked it.

"Please, if you tell me about it, I’ll pay you." It was a second voice Bokuto did not hear before, he was sure. "What did you say if I buy you that old whisky you can’t sell?"

After a couple of minutes of intense silence, finally the first voice spoke again.

"Repeat me his name and description."

"Bokuto Koutarou." The ex wing spiker felt his body freeze even more when he heard his name. He needed to know who was looking for him so he poked his head over the garbage bin. "A tall guy, exceeds the eighty-five meter in height, but now he would probably be around the ninety meter. He used to have his black and white hair up, like a horned owl. And has golden eyes, but if you get closer you can see green specks on them."

Bokuto was scared. Really scared. The man who was asking for him was the blonde one Akaashi met every day at the coffee shop. Why was he interested in Bokuto? Maybe Akaashi had told him about Bokuto? What if the man wanted to kill Bokuto? _Maybe I shouldn’t hide. Just go there and if he kills you… Well, what will you lose?_ He shook his head rebuking himself for thinking it. Live, one more minute, because you never know when a stroke of luck could change your life; it was Bokuto mantra, what he repeated again and again not to give up.

"Yeah, I know him. I have seen him walking in front of the bar a couple of times. He always wears a grey hoodie. I can’t tell you more, really. It’s all I know. But you could talk with someone, I think he could give you more answers."

"Thank you very much."

The conversation ceased after Bokuto heard the noise of the back door being closed. He covered his head with the hood and coughed. Then he fell into a state of partial unconsciousness.

The winter hell started one day of November. Bokuto was not okay, he had multiple bruises on his back and his hips hurt so much he could barely walk. He needed just one thing: rest. So he went to that garbage bin he baptized as his new home. He made his way through the food scraps and closed his eyes. He did not know how much time passed until someone grabbed him by the neck, dragged him out of the garbage bin. It was the owner of the bar and his sons. That afternoon he received multiple kicks in his ribs and he was left without his makeshift house.

On the other hand, the mafia was even more cruel with his works. The thefts they sent to Bokuto were too risky, and the punishments harder to carry. Bokuto cried every single night. He was approaching his limit. His body was one punch to break. The ex captain had never been on the edge like that winter. _Why? Why is this happening to me? I’ve never hurt anyone…_ Bokuto coughed and saw blood in his hand. Again. He rested his head on the tough and cold wall of a building. He hugged his legs in a vain tried to get warm. _But the world will not treat you better just because you are a good person_. Faith is something too fragile. And when you walk through fire it is really easy to break.

✦─────────── • ✧

Bokuto’s stomach roared. "Sh, hold on a little more," whispered, his hand resting over it. The door in front of him opened and Bokuto entered, as much as he did not want to.

He crossed the threshold and an aged man sitting behind an old wooden desk fixed his penetrating gaze on him. Bokuto’s eyes descended to the ground and he felt even smaller.

"Cut to the chase. Bokuto, you know we’ve been having some problems with the law lately." Bokuto nodded. "The pen drive you gave us wasn’t useful enough to win the trial. So, I have an assignment for you. It’s kinda different of what you’ve done until now."

Kinda different. It did not calm Bokuto. His boss was not bitter and unperturbed as always. He was nervous and upset. How he was biting his nails gave it away. Bokuto could not care less about his mind health, but if the boss was fucked up, he would be it too but worst.

"Do you remember the lawyer in charge of our case?" Of course he did. Bokuto would never forget Akaashi. It was impossible to him. But he did not like the mention of his pretty setter from the boss’ mouth. "Kill him."

If he had had something in his stomach surely the ex captain would have vomited it back then. _Did I hear well? No, impossible_. But it was. The boss was looking at him with an impassive gaze. Life was a fucking tricking bastard to Bokuto. No matter how down he was, it managed somehow to drown him a little more. Now, when a ray of faith went through his life and threw some light to his existence, enough to make him fight, life took it away.

"If you do this, your debt will be paid." Bokuto’s eyes widened.

The key to his freedom, after eight years, was finally in front of him.

But… The price was the life of the person he loves the most.

✦─────────── • ✧

Bokuto coughed. His heels beat rhythmically the container he was sitting on. He laughed. And suddenly it became an hysterical laugh that made him cry. Bokuto held his stomach and dry the tears running over his cheeks. Life was a comedia, did not? Because he found hilarious how, after eight years walking through hell looking for his freedom, now it was given to it only if he kills the only thing that made him going forward.

Bokuto did not hesitate. He accepted the deal.

Now he was waiting in front of Akaashi’s apartment. He studied the guard’s habits and discovered that he usually went to the bathroom around six o’clock. Five minutes. As regular as a clockwork, the man left his workplace to went to the bathroom. Bokuto took advantage of that moment to sneak into the building.

_Akiyama… Hirano… Fujino… Akaashi!_ He found what he was searching for: Akaashi’s mailbox. He pulled from his hoodie two pen drives: one was the one the lawyer had before Bokuto stole it. The other was property of the mafia boss. In it there was everything Akaashi and the legal system needed to imprison every member of the mafia. Bokuto deposited them and left the apartment before getting caught.

Bokuto did not hesitate. He accepted the deal. Bokuto was sure: Akaashi’s life was more important to him than his own. He would choose Akaashi over anything else. So, he decided it at the moment: if he robbed the pen drive he would be killed by the mafia, but for the first time in eight years, he would be free to choose. And, it was not what he was searching for? Freedom. It was a win-win situation.

"Akaashi, I give you my life and freedom" he whispered to the cloudy sky.

✦─────────── • ✧

He drowned. His lungs began to collapse. The air did not pass through them because of the bucket of water in which they dipped his head again and again. They pulled Bokuto out one more time, water dripping from the bicolor hair. His vision was blurred. He felt so dizzy that he didn't even know how he was still conscious. His mouth ajar, he looked for a way to breathe, but he was unable. His lungs burned. _This is how one should feel before dying_, Bokuto thought in a moment of lucidity. One of the gangsters who had captured him, threw his head back. He did not resist. He had no strength left even for that.

"Did you really think you could steal us without us going to find you out, asshole?" In absence of Bokuto's response, the man hit him with the knuckles in his mouth. The boy coughed, spraying the surroundings with blood. A red river descended from his reddened lips because of the same fluid.

To avoid a new wave of punches or to be submerged in the bucket, Bokuto managed to articulate some words again.

"No..." he murmured, his eyes blank. He could hardly keep conscious. Everything around him was spinning. Images mixed with the pain that his body experienced. The one who had endured for eight years. "I… I… I didn't know… I knew… I knew you would know…" His words were meaningless. Bokuto was in his last, it was evident to everyone present.

"It's over." The mafia boss looked mercilessly in his eyes at the boy's body.

They had taken all the possible information from Bokuto for six hours, but they were unable to know who had given the information or why. And it was evident from the way Bokuto had endured that he would never open his mouth. Whoever it was was someone for whom he was willing to die.

The boss approached Bokuto. He gripped the ex captain's jaw tightly and squeezed it until a new moan was pulled from his lips. His skin was pale, mostly covered with blood, bruises and water. It even had several burns. But he still hadn't spoken.

"I hope it was worth losing your life and freedom, scum." The man raised his gun and placed it on Bokuto's brow. He, however, did not even blink.

Was it worth it? Was giving this information to Akaashi worth it?

He imagined for a moment the dark-haired man coming home after a hard day at work, without advancing the case against the mafia. Maybe accompanied by that blond that Bokuto did not like, but he would surely take care of him. If that was the case for Bokuto it was fine. Akaashi deserved a good person to protect him. He would open the mailbox, perhaps thinking there would be more bills, but instead he would find the solution to the case that would launch his career. Thanks to Bokuto. His last action would have been to help him to be happy, and that's why all the pain in the world was worth it.

Bokuto grinned just imagining Akaashi's lips curved in a smile. Those who Bokuto had enjoyed during high school for two years. God, Akaashi was really beautiful. A damn work of art. For his smile he would be capable of everything. And if his end was right there, it was fine to him. Because, at least, he would die free. The only thing he regretted was not seeing Akaashi's face once more. If only...

Shots.

But Bokuto felt nothing. Apart from the pain that already ran through his body, of course. _Am i already dead?_ He opened one eye with difficulty after more than five minutes. Around him everything was blurry and looked the same. He distinguished a figure in front of him and the pressure on his wrists disappeared. His eyelids fell again. This time he felt someone pick him up in his arms and murmurs, but he was not able to distinguish what he was saying.

At some point his golden eyes peeked again, and this time he managed to distinguish a man with blond hair. It took several attempts to realize that he was carrying it, and it was also the same man who met with Akaashi every morning in the coffee shop. But Bokuto was too gone to be surprised.

The next thing Bokuto saw was a car. They put him inside and for the first time in many weeks the warmth hugged him and the ex captain let out a brief sigh. He noticed something soft under his head. He was supported on something. The car started and forced him to move, causing his wounds to complain and he screamed in pain. He clenched his teeth.

But life decided to give him a gift.

"Bokuto." The boy would recognize that voice even if it was nothing more than a murmur among a tumult of people.

He didn't care about tiredness, or pain, or how his mind struggled to knock him out. That boy's voice made him wake up.

"A…?" The words got stuck in his throat, broken, "Akaashi?"

Akaashi nodded, cradling the bruised face of who was his captain once upon a time. Up close, it looked even more beautiful, despite the expression of concern in his face.

"It's me, Bokuto. I found you. Finally, I found you."

Bokuto found the necessary strength to break into tears once again, like a little boy. His throat hurt, but he didn't care. As long as he was in Akaashi's arms, nothing else did.

✦─────────── • ✧

Bokuto wandered between consciousness and unconsciousness. Sometimes he opened his eyes and thought he was watching the silhouette of Akaashi. He tried to speak, but suddenly he fell asleep again. Other times was the blonde man the one in front of him. In that case he let the unconsciousness take him without resistance. He finally woke up when the heady aroma of freshly cooked food flooded his nostrils. He got up, a groan of pain come out from his lips when he felt the burden of every injury the mafia did to him.

The mafia. When he remembered it, his body froze. Bokuto looked for its members around the bedroom, but was empty. At first he did not remember what happened two days ago. However, when he saw his body bandaged and the photography of the Fukurodani win at the nationals, he realized he must be in Akaashi’s apartment. And then the memories hit him. The moment his eyelids rose and witnessed the setter’s beautiful eyes looking at him, bursting into tears. His right hand went to Bokuto’s chest, over his heart racing. Was it real? Did Akaashi saved him or was it just another dream? But, how else could he be in his apartment?

Bokuto had never been a person characterized by his patience, so he left the bed. He staggered and needed some time to recover when a strong dizziness almost made him fall to the ground. Bokuto was still not well.

He limped into the living room of the apartment and the first thing he noticed was the indelible figure of the setter, who was talking with the blonde man. Akaashi spun around and their eyes collided. This must be a dream. _I… I can’t be… I can’t be this lucky._ The ex vice captain approached him until they were one meter apart. Then Bokuto saw Akaashi’s tears again, but this time in his face there was a smile as beautiful as the Niagara Falls. Akaashi threw himself into Bokuto’s arms and, just for that moment, he did not care about the things he did, about if he deserved to be with someone as perfect as Akaashi. He just pressed the lawyer into his chest and hid his face into Akaashi’s hair. He still managed to have that vanilla essence he used to love.

"I’ve been looking for you for eight years..." Akaashi whispered in his ear. He separated from Bokuto, his eyes still crystallized. His hands cradled the ex captain’s cheeks and stared into his eyes. "I can’t believe you’re finally here, Koutarou..."

Bokuto’s lips curved into an smile, candid and delighted for first time since the high school.

"I love you, Keiji."

The lawyer laughed so softly that Bokuto’s heart nearly melted. Akaashi broke any distance with him and kissed the cracked lips of the vagabond. "I love you too. I always did it." But the body of Bokuto could not resist anymore and fell unconscious to the ground.

✦─────────── • ✧

He didn’t remember how it felt to be hugged by this warmth. A sigh of calmness went out of his mouth, even when he was asleep. His wounds did not hurt as much as they did when he was being tortured by the mafia. The warmth… made him feel like he was between his mother’s arms again. Something was stroking his hair and for him it was like being in heaven. Bokuto slowly opened his eyes. It took him several attempts.

He discovered where the heat came from: he was laying on a bed, covered with some blankets. But it was more than it. He felt something around his mistreated body. Bokuto turned and saw Akaashi caressing his black and white hair with a little smile on his lips. For a moment he did not believe it was real and kissed Akaashi’s lips. But they did not disappear like he thought. He was still there, watching him with a fondness he did not feel since… he could not remember.

But the bubble exploded.

"You didn’t call. You didn’t text. Anything." muttered Akaashi. Bokuto sighed and nodded.

Bokuto was too comfortable that he almost forgot that he disappeared for eight years. And when he met Akaashi again for the first time, he was into a mafia, nearly to die. He was conscious that Akaashi deserved answers, but he was not sure to be ready to talk about it. Because when he did it, he was sure the setter would leave his side. And Bokuto could not continue doing it anymore… not without him.

As if reading his mind, Akaashi spoke again.

"No matter what you did, I promise I won’t leave you." Akaashi sat up. His hair was disheveled, but it still looks beautiful, Bokuto thought. "Would you leave me if you were me?" Bokuto shook his head. "Then don’t think about it."

"Do you remember when we won the nationals?" Akaashi nodded. "Well… Do you also remember that, during the match, I injured my shoulder?" Akaashi looked at him, expectant. "I broke my shoulder so… they denied me the grant. They told me the same day I got the marks of my university exams. I… Well, I’ve never been the best student… I passed, but..." Bokuto sighed. It was difficult. It was the start of how his life fell apart. If just one of those things would went different maybe he did not had to pass through hell. "My grades weren’t good enough to get a grant. And… I hadn’t tell this to nobody in high school, but… My family could barely eat, far less pay for my university. If I could enter to Fukurodani was because of volleyball. The grant cover everything: the bedroom, food, equipment… And I lost everything."

Bokuto paused. Memories were too strong and he needed a moment to deep breath. Suddenly Akaashi’s hand were over his, squeezing it.

"It’s okay. Take the time you need."

"After that my mom passed out," Bokuto continued and Akaashi’s eyes widened. The dark-haired did not know what to say. "It was a work accident, but the company sued us and we lost the trial. We had to pay for my mom’s death. But… We can’t even pay her funeral!" Bokuto clenched his fist so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Remember to take a deep breath, Bokuto," Akaashi interrupted like he did in high school when Bokuto’s emo mode appeared in the middle of a match. His hand travelled to the ex captain cheek and he caressed it. _He… is warm…_, Bokuto thought and calmed himself.

"After that we lost our home. But we still couldn’t pay. And then was when problems knocked on the door. We… Hm, well, hm… A mafia contacted us. They made a deal with my father. If he did everything they said, the debt would be paid. And, yeah, my dad accepted, of course. But..." Bokuto laughed ironically. "He made the deal with me. That’s why I disappeared. I… I felt so despicable… In my… I… I thought none of you deserved to be with someone like me… So… So..." He tried to find the perfect words, but he could not. His mind went blank.

Before he could find the words again, Akaashi was hugging him again. "I’m sorry, Bokuto," he whispered, what confused Bokuto. Why was he apologizing to him? It was supposed to be the opposite! Akaashi was the perfect one, who merit the world; While Bokuto… He did a lot of bad things just to survive.

"I’m sorry because I couldn’t help you. I’m sorry because you had to go through such a hell. And, I’m sorry because I couldn’t find you earlier. But… Bokuto, I promise you you’ll never be alone again, and none will hurt you. I’ll win the trial against them, and you’ll be free. Forever. No matter what it costs, okay? From now you’re free."

Freedom.

_For real? Can I be free? Do I deserve it?_

Bokuto heard it once ago, in a song. He still could look back on, when the song was played by a street group. All your broken hearts, all your dejected dreams. Just let yourself be free ‘cause even broken wings can fly away. Maybe he was a broken wing, yes, but with Akaashi he felt like he could fly again like the owl he was.

Some knocks on the door took him out of his reverie. Akaashi exclaimed a "come in" and, on the other side, appeared the blonde man.

"Hi," he greeted, a shy smile on his face. Bokuto had nothing against him so he waved energetically his hand, what cost to him a stab of pain on his ribs. "Be careful! You’re still recovering, Bokuto."

Akaashi had frowned, his hand over Bokuto’s ribs. He rushed to take a cup of water, which he gave to Bokuto with a tablet. Bokuto pouted like a child, but Akaashi was immunized against his ex captain expressions so Bokuto had no option and took the tablet.

"Did the police know what we did, Katashi?" Akaashi asked, worry veiled in his voice.

"Nah," he answered and sit on one side of the bed, next to the couple. "You know I’m too good to be caught. By the way, I’m Katashi Akaashi. Nice to meet you finally, Bokuto."

Bokuto blinked, confused. Akaashi? Did he say Akaashi?

"Ni… Nice to meet you too!" said Bokuto, and the blonde Akaashi laughed.

"He’s my cousin," explained Akaashi while he started to check Bokuto’s injuries. "He works as a private detective, and he’s really good. When you disappeared, he helped me looking for you, but it was… God, it was fucking complicated. Thanks God Katashi found you before the mafia… Well, you know."

"Don’t thank god, I was the one who found him, you should thank me." Akaashi rolled his eyes and threw a pillow to his cousin.

Bokuto looked the fight between the Akaashi duo with a genuine smile on his face. He was happy. He finally found a place to die… and a place to live.

The sun's rays sneaked through the huge windows of the bedroom. They were heated. Bokuto looked to the glass and saw flying leaves. The winter’s coldness had left.

Spring was finally there. After eight years it felt hot, like he was feeling the sun for the first time. Akaashi appeared in his life like a breeze and drove away the clouds drowning him.

✦─────────── • ✧

The court emptied after the sentence handed down by the judge. The golden-eyed man was the first to go out. He needed some fresh air and a deep breath. The last months of his life was a walking in a roller coaster and finally it had ended.

"Bokuto!" A familiar voice sounded in the halls of the courthouse and Bokuto stopped to look the man following him. He was the blonde man, the one who met Akaashi when he spied him. "Are you okay after…?"

Bokuto grinned and a loud laugh went through his lips. He put his hand over the man’s shoulder and the blonde saw that spark in his eyes, the same Akaashi had told him about so many times. The spark Bokuto thought had lost, but step by step returned to him. He did not even notice, but for the blonde and Akaashi it was pretty obvious. And they could not be happier.

"Of course I am! Dude, it’s the best notice I’ve ever heard!" He chuckled. "Everyone in the mafia had been arrested and condemned. I’m free, Katashi. Finally."

It took a long time to Akaashi and the juridical system to indict the mafia, but with Bokuto’s information and his testimony, things started to flow. However, not everything was easy. Bokuto was not okay at first. His continuous cough was the result of not eating well, the constant beatings, and sleep on the outside every winter. One day he fainted and Akaashi took him to the hospital, where they explained to both of them the need to operate him before it was too late. There were long days for Bokuto and Akaashi, because the surgery did not go as well as they envisaged, and Bokuto seemed not to get better. Akaashi stayed every day and night next to Bokuto at the hospital, holding his hand and talking about his day. Because Akaashi never asked again about Bokuto’s past. He understood it was something that hurt Bokuto and time was the only medicine to his recover. So they agreed not to talk about it unless was Bokuto who brought the issue back. After two months, Bokuto finally got better and could leave the hospital. However, the doctors instructed him to take more care of himself.

The blonde man, Katashi, accompanied Bokuto until the exit, where Akaashi was waiting him with a smile from ear to ear. He said goodbye to the couple, arguing he did not want to be the third wheel and that a beautiful brunette woman was flirting with him. Bokuto slapped hard his back before he left and then approached his gorgeous boyfriend. Because, of course, after their meeting months ago, it took them only a few days to make his relationship official. However, it did not mean they did not kiss. Quite the opposite: while Bokuto was still recovering, he needed to rest, and they took advantage of it to lay in bed all day. And everyone could imagine what that meant.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto exclaimed, his hands hitting the air energetically. "Guess who’s officially free because of his amazing boyfriend."

"I don’t know. Who?" asked ironically Akaashi, with a smirk on his lips.

However Bokuto did not catch the irony and he frowned. "It’s me, ‘Kaashi! Well, uh, I mean, I’m the one free. But the amazing boyfriend it’s you!"

Akaashi laughed so hard he closed his eyes and a tear fell from his eyes. "Oh, gosh, I love you so fucking much."

The dark-haired grabbed Bokuto’s blouse and threw it to him until he could kiss his boyfriend’s lips.

"I love you too, Keiji," Bokuto muttered. "I should thank-"

"Don’t," Akaashi cut off before he could finish the sentence. "I should. Thanks to you I could win the trial and keep the promise I made to you."

Both of them grinned, and they were about to kiss again, but a jeer was faster and they separated.

"Stop kissing each other every time you two met! Some of us are still single!" Konoha growled, peevish as usual.

The ex Fukurodani volleyball team was all there. Konoha threw the ball to Bokuto, who caught it like he used to when they were in high school. He looked the ball homesick, but this time was a happy feeling.

"Are you ready to play again, ace?" Akaashi asked, holding Bokuto’s hand while they were walking to the team.

Bokuto raised his head. The sun was in his zhenit. The first day of summer, Bokuto’s favourite season arrived again. He smiled.

"Only if you toss to me."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading. I hope you'd enjoyed it.
> 
> You can find me on Twitter: @stanfukurodani.


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